Summer used to be my favorite season. No school, warmer weather, vacation- you know, the usual things most people like to think of when they think of summer. Now that I live in the south, summer time seems to be a time of fighting bugs, warding off heat and humidity, and being stuck at home trying to think of indoor things for the kids to do, without the usual distractions that church and school bring.
This summer has also been difficult for other reasons, and I find myself longing for a new start, for the beginning of routine and fresh air. Our family has been plagued with injury, illness, and even death. Constant struggle and upheaval does not make me want to rise to the challenge- it makes me want to hide in a corner, especially when it is 100 degrees outside. I feel like I am sitting around, waiting for the next blow to fall, a blow like last week when a young cousin was diagnosed with cancer.
I have been putting things off- like coming to grips with the fact that I am going to need to homeschool this year, and not wanting to do it. In short, I guess I have been living in fear, stagnating for want of action.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided I would shake off dull sloth and do a dry run of our homeschool day- just to see if I could sort out a schedule and figure out what other books I needed to get. I was ambitious- I set my alarm for six am and had charts and printouts and what not ready to go. My alarm went off- I woke up sick. Very sick, and the following sinus infection is still dogging my steps. It was like starting a race by running straight uphill. I was tempted to give up- I mean, how necessary is an education really? But life goes on, hope is still there, and perseverance is necessary, even when I don't feel like it. It is September- I am starting school in earnest tomorrow. I have my alarm set for six am again. And fall is coming, with its reminders of change and new perspective.
This has been a darker post than usual, but it has been a darker time for us. I write this I suppose, for the future, so I can look back and see how God has brought us through the good times as well as the bad. My next post will be cheery and full of all the amzing ideas I have found for homeschooling on Pinterest. Lord help me, I finally got sucked in to Pinterest. Ha! Until then...