Coming up for Air

Summer used to be my favorite season. No school, warmer weather, vacation- you know, the usual things most people like to think of when they think of summer. Now that I live in the south, summer time seems to be a time of fighting bugs, warding off heat and humidity, and being stuck at home trying to think of indoor things for the kids to do, without the usual distractions that church and school bring.
This summer has also been difficult for other reasons, and I find myself longing for a new start, for the beginning of routine and fresh air. Our family has been plagued with injury, illness, and even death. Constant struggle and upheaval does not make me want to rise to the challenge- it makes me want to hide in a corner, especially when it is 100 degrees outside. I feel like I am sitting around, waiting for the next blow to fall, a blow like last week when a young cousin was diagnosed with cancer.
I have been putting things off- like coming to grips with the fact that I am going to need to homeschool this year, and not wanting to do it. In short, I guess I have been living in fear, stagnating for want of action.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided I would shake off dull sloth and do a dry run of our homeschool day- just to see if I could sort out a schedule and figure out what other books I needed to get. I was ambitious- I set my alarm for six am and had charts and printouts and what not ready to go. My alarm went off- I woke up sick. Very sick, and the following sinus infection is still dogging my steps. It was like starting a race by running straight uphill. I was tempted to give up- I mean, how necessary is an education really? But life goes on, hope is still there, and perseverance is necessary, even when I don't feel like it. It is September- I am starting school in earnest tomorrow. I have my alarm set for six am again. And fall is coming, with its reminders of change and new perspective.

This has been a darker post than usual, but it has been a darker time for us. I write this I suppose, for the future, so I can look back and see how God has brought us through the good times as well as the bad. My next post will be cheery and full of all the amzing ideas I have found for homeschooling on Pinterest. Lord help me, I finally got sucked in to Pinterest. Ha! Until then...

Let's Pretend

Let's pretend I have caught up on my blog by now. Let's pretend that I finished posting pictures of the rest of our wonderful vacation and a family reunion with 11 adults and 14 kids(the average age was 4- can you say exhausted?) Let's pretend that I have updated all the changes in our life right now, the most significant being my sister moving to town to be with us! And let's pretend I took tons of great shots of all our recent attempts at various pools and watering holes to avoid the 108 degree heat. Oh, and a fantastic fourth of July! Now that we have done that, we can relax on a cooler rainy day (thank you Lord!) and catch up with the garden.

Just one pic today of our afternoon project- Canning Mango Salsa! The only problem is, most of my jars are still filled with strawberry jam. Hmmmm. Does salsa freeze well?

I am proud to say that the only thing I didn't grow in this picture is the mango. And I did have to buy cilantro this morning because mine got scorched to death in the heatwave. Oh, and garlic- had to buy that too cause mine rotted. Okay, so we are not quite a self-sustaining farm yet, but we're working on it. We just need a cow, and well, some land.

First half of vacation

Well, we made it to grandma's two weeks ago. The flight was relatively uneventful, other than arriving at around 1 am, which was of course 4 am to us. Needless to say we have been tired, and fighting the early mornings thanks to a sun that rises at 5 am here. I finally had sense enough to black out the windows with blankets, so we have all been sleeping much better and are getting our energy back. It only took two weeks! We have also been very busy with cousins and what not, so I thought I would post a few pictures before I got overwhelmed with a full month's worth.

At the airport, waiting for our first flight.

I kept getting looks from everyone we passed like I was crazy for flying solo with four boys or something.

A little happy birthday to me (and my big sister.) We are a year and a week apart, and always used to have our birthday parties together.

A Saturday picnic down by the water on a day so beautiful, I wonder why we ever left this place.

Collecting crabs!

And a chilly, drizzly morning at the playground, which helps remind me why the South isn't so bad.

All in all, it's good to be home.

Peter Pan Syndrome

Steve left for France this morning. In his prayer over breakfast he said "Lord, help the boys to be good for their mommy- Help James not too be so bossy, help Etienne not to be so rowdy, and help Sebastien not to be so whiny. I'd say he knows his boys pretty well, although I asked him to add a quick prayer that Christian would be through teething soon. I hope his prayers are answered for the sake of my sanity because it has been a rough week for me and my family. Being so far away from my folks and sisters, and Steve being gone makes hard times that much more difficult. There are days when I long for the old and simpler days of childhood- the days when my mom took care of me,and major crises were about things like what we were, or were not having for dinner. Instead, I wake up each morning with the responsibility of trying to figure out what makes these four little men tick. For instance-


The other night, as I got the boys ready for bed, I looked up at Etienne and noticed how grown up he was looking. In a mock severe tone I told him he absolutely had to stop getting so big- that he was not allowed to keep growing. Instead of giggling in response as I had expected, his face got all contorted and a tear or two escaped. I quickly hugged him, assuring him I had just been joking, but he wrapped his arms around my neck and burst into tears. It took me a while to figure out what he was saying, but the gist of it was that he never wanted to grow up. He just wanted to be a kid forever. I was a bit flabbergasted. I mean, all James can ever talk about is being old enough to drive a car, earn some money to buy whatever he wants, and play video games whenever he can. And here was my second born clinging to the present, seemingly terrified of an unknown future, and wishing he lived in Neverland.

I tried to convince him of all the great things he could do when he got older, but he wouldn't be convinced. I waxed eloquent, bringing all of my hard earned wisdom to bear, and trying to ignore my own recent longing for the simplicity of childhood. It all proved futile. So I just sat and held him. He only stopped crying when James, annoyed by his incessant weeping, walked by doing a weird dance and making farting noises with his mouth. In fact Etienne went straight from sobbing to laughing out loud which turned into a strange kind of hysterics. But he jumped off my lap to join in the dancing and rude noise-making. Problem solved.


Oh boys, will I ever figure them out? Then again, if I had known the solution was so easy, would I have used it? I guess I am just not yet used to employing crude humor as therapy. Nor am I sure it's the best way to go about fixing things long term. But I'm learning day by day- that's part of growing up, right? And whether I want to or not, I might as well accept it, because "All children, except one, grow up."

Fourth baby

I'm trying to think of alternate titles for this post. Perhaps 'The Egg' because of the hideous lump on my baby's forehead, or 'Worst Mother in the World' because I didn't even see this happen, or 'Keeping Up', because he got the lump from trying to catch his brothers. In my defense, he has a large vein that runs down the middle of his forehead, so bumps in this location always look worse than they are.

I feel like this kid, more than any of the others, has something to prove. He is way ahead of his brothers when they were this age- walking, trying to talk, and just trying to be a big boy way too soon. I often find him turning circles in the middle of the living room as his brothers race past, trying to decide which way to go so he can join in. But he is always too slow, and he gets so frustrated he just screams. Another difference with this baby is that he is his daddy's boy all the way, and not just in looks. He prefers Steve over me any time. If daddy is at home, then daddy is the one he wants. I am not sure why this is- but it is kind of nice for a change. I'm just a little worried that he's going to flip when Steve leaves next week for a month. Yep, that's right- Steve gets to go to France to see his family for the month of May. I was so jealous of this fact that I booked myself and the boys some tickets to go see my family for a month. So hah! Wait, who wins in this situation? Did I just commit to a five hour plane ride with four boys? Without Daddy? Gulp. Oh, but Grandma is at the other end.

Hide 'n Seek

This game has become very popular around our house since Sebastien can 'count' now. The rules are basic. Hide under mom's covers for an indeterminate amount of time, mumbling random integers and then go find your brothers who are almost always hiding in the same place. Who knew life could be so fun? And who knew sixty-hereIcome was a number?

Untitled from nicole lewin on Vimeo.

Etienne and Easter

This year Easter week coincided with Etienne's 5th birthday, which it hasn't done for the last few years. It made for a very busy week which I am still recovering from- hence the late photos.
We had a quiet party for Etienne. His breakfast of choice?- cinnamon rolls. I asked him what kind of a party he wanted, and all he said was he wanted to be king for the day. So I made him a crown made out of tin foil. He was thrilled. I wonder how long that kind of excitement will last. We also had a picnic at a local park to feed the geese and walk along the edge of the stone wall surrounding the lake. Again- how long will the thrill of such an outing survive? I mean, they just couldn't get enough of walking the edge of that wall. He is so easy to please, that boy. Whenever I ask him what he wants to do for his birthday, he gets overwhelmed by the number of options and gets a little panicky. In the end, he said he didn't care what kind of a cake he got, just so long as there were m&ms involved.

Saturday morning was a church-wide breakfast and Easter egg hunt. Well, as James noted, it wasn't so much of a hunt as a race. The eggs were just lying on the ground everywhere, so the whole hunt took about 45 seconds. They had a blast though. Some dear friends had invited us for Easter Sunday, so we spent Saturday afternoon at their house helping preparing Easter dinner. Easter day itself was really lovely- 72 degrees and sunny. The perfect combo for an outdoor feast of lamb and many other goodies. There was also another egg hunt for the kids, and a wonderful afternoon of good company and quiet conversation. I wish I had taken better photos, but here is a quick slideshow if you are interested. Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!