I don't usually do this but...

I read something that I want to share.

I have had so many conversations with people lately about how difficult life seems to be right now, either financially, spiritually, physically, or circumstantially- you name it. I have been feeling in the dumps too- anxious,worried, frustrated, impatient. Again- you name it, I got it.
Then I picked up a little essay by Andree Seu from her book 'We Shall Have Spring Again'.
She says this-

"I have been waiting for the day when I can amass just enough spiritual capital to achieve some independence and not have to go begging God for every little thing. I have envisioned what it would look like: I would have read enough great books to be respectable in polite society. I would have attained enough competence in some skill area to amount to something. I would possess surplus purity of heart the way I have stockpiles of paper towels in the pantry, not having to fight for it anew every day in prayer.
I always think it's just around the corner, this time to coast. In the meantime I am constantly desperate for God.
There are precedents to my frustration in the tale of the widow from Zarephath. A stranger blows into town and asks for bread.
'I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour and a little oil in a jug. Now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die." (I Kings 17:12) She is already counting herself dead.
At this point Elijah can, if he wants to, open the storerooms of heaven and make it rain fig cakes. But he does not. He only promises, "The jar of flour shall not be spent and the jug of oil shall not be empty until the Lord sends rain upon the earth."
Every day she comes down to the kitchen (is she biting her nails?) and there is just enough for the day.
We like a little more margin than that, thank you very much. But God is not into comfort zones. He dispatches disciples to preach with no staff, nor bread, nor bag, nor money. His heavenly caterers send manna enough for the day, but try to scrape up Wednesday's dinner on Tuesday and you'll get maggoty manna for your unbelief.
Recently I counted all the essays I have stockpiled over the years. They were a buffer against writer's block, a safety net in case the Lord didn't come through, a comfort zone in which the comfort was not having to rely on God. Maggoty, every one- stale and dated. Each one taking hours to write, each one representing time I didn't spend with my kids.
Simon the Sorcerer (Acts 8) is merely the crassest illustration of my desire to own the gifts of God as a commodity. Who needs moment by moment relationship with God? Just sell me the ownership of the power of the Holy Spirit to wield independently of Him. To Me be the Glory!
I am humbled but happy. Begging God daily is the right place to be. Not to possess anything in myself, but to draw the day's grace as the branch draws from the vine. In your right mind, you wouldn't want it any other way.

Don't you love it when you read something that speaks right to you? I hope this helps any of you out there who are struggling with the day to day.

Summertime Uniform

What do you get when you combine-

Three little dirty, popsicle-covered boys
Hot weather
Jumping in and out of the pool all day
Potty Training
Some really groovy new Pixar emblazoned briefs?

Long days of wearing nothing but underwear, that's what.

Something to blog about

Life has been pretty slow around here- a lot of staying indoors to avoid the heat and working on potty training for my big boy Etienne. I know it is kind of early for potty training- he just turned two, but I really don't want to wait a year and summer time is by far the best time to do it. Thankfully he has been doing great so far. I have discovered he will do just about anything for chocolate.
Anyways- we did manage to get out of the house and into the pool last week. My kids are generally afraid of water. Seb hates his bath and Etienne screams if water gets anywhere near his eyes. James isn't bold near water either, but by the end of the day, Steve had him dunking under and even opening his eyes. Seb loved floating in his floaty thing and Etienne was the only one who stayed pool side most of the afternoon. For me, it just felt good to float for awhile.

No time for subtitles

Well, if I don't put some pictures of my trip up now, I never will. I don't have the time to describe all the events highlighted, so have fun guessing what we did!

Summer 2009

Back in time for fireworks

I know I haven't posted pictures of my time in Tacoma yet, but I thought I would get some of these fourth of July shots up before Moriah does. Hah! We got home at 4:15 am July 4th, so we were a bit exhausted, not to mention unorganized and surrounded by piles of unpacked luggage, but we decided to go with Andy and Moriah and crew to the downtown fireworks show anyways.
We met up at their house beforehand and took some pictures of our patriotic wardrobes (pardon Steve's black t-shirt- it isn't his independence day remember. And he is half British)

The show didn't start until late, so we had an interesting time keeping track of the kids in the darkness while we waited, (including bribing them with suckers) but once the fireworks started, they had no problem staying put.







Hope you all had a fun fourth!

My surprise visit (extended version)

So I have been meaning to blog about my surprise visit to Washington (which was a surprise to no one but my older sister) before I got home again, but I am still here. My hubby called the day before I was supposed to leave and told me that since his business obligations would be taking him out of town a lot for the next few weeks, that I should stay here as long as possible. What could I do but agree? I mean, I miss my hubby, but since he isn't going to be at home anyway.....

So I am here for one more week. We are having a lovely, somewhat restful time with my family and have had many adventures with grandma and the nine grandkids in tow. I have a ton of pictures, but can't seem to figure out how to download them off of this PC. Man, I miss my Mac. So I guess I will just do a huge photo dump when I get back to Tennessee. Until then.

All about James

James is four this week. I know, I can't believe it, time flies etc. He is a bright, cheerful, constantly hungry, slightly obnoxious child who occasionally does really sweet things. Sometimes there are ulterior motives. Yesterday, to get out of punishment for whining again, he walked over to me when I called him, gave me this really cheesy, sappy look and pursed his lips. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, " Mom, I just really want to kiss you," in a falsely affectionate tone of voice.
I will not reveal whether or not he got out of said punishment.
Last night I heard him talking to Etienne after they were supposed to be going to sleep. I put my ear to the door and James was saying goodnight to Etienne. Etienne responded with a thank you.
James said, "No, don't say thank you. Can you say I love me?"
Etienne responded, " I love me."

He got a birthday card in the mail from Grandpa Lewin yesterday, and was so thrilled about it. He asked me too read the brief birthday wishes over and over again. After about the seventh time, he sighed and said, "That is such a good story."

James wasn't sure what he wanted for birthday presents, but he was positive that he wanted a choo choo cake, so I searched the ever helpful internet and came up with a picture of this cake that I tried to copy.



If I ever make this cake again, I will hide it under lock and key to avoid the constant begging to see, touch, taste and smell it.
We took the cake to the park and I shared the sugar high with Moriah's kids. They did a pretty good job of running it off though.


Some other big things going on in James life-

We changed his name to Butch (ie. daddy got a little too happy with the clippers)


I tried not to weep when I saw it, so that James wouldn't freak out, but when he looked in the mirror, he buried his face in his hands and cried, " Mommy, I lost my head!!!" We are getting used to it, and hey, it will grow back.

I don't have a photo of this, but James also has his first full blown case of Poison Ivy- tummy, legs, back, arms are well covered with little pink rashes. He doesn't seem to mind it too much. He just absently scratches all day. All in all, not the best birthday present though. He'll just have to start out year number four covered in Calamine lotion.